What is resilience?

To put it simply, resilience is the ability to face drawbacks and still be able to bounce back.

Think about the device that many books and movies use – the protagonist initially sets out on their journey and meets nothing but adversities, to a point where success seems impossible. And yet they persist through all that and eventually reach their goal. That’s what resilience is, and it’s not just a trait of fictional heroes, nor is anyone born with it – it’s a learned skill, so anyone can, and perhaps should, give it a try!

Resilience can help you to face the difficulties in your life without having them spiral down into bigger problems. When you’re in a crisis, being resilient allows you to recover from it quicker. It doesn’t change who you are, or alter your personality; resilience strengthens it.

Think about a time that you got a poor grade. Did you take it at face value without worrying about it and just made sure to perhaps adjust your learning habits? If the answer is “yes”, then congratulations – you’re resilient! If that doesn’t sound like you, though, that’s okay; you can learn to become resilient.

Managing stress

Even if you’re in the process of developing it, we all stumble from time to time and get stressed over things. We’re human, and stress is something perfectly natural. Stress can even be a good thing sometimes, but other times it can get overwhelming. That’s why it can be good to have a toolkit that lets us prevent it from getting out of hand, especially during the hectic time that is being a student.

As helpful as resilience can be, no matter how resilient you are, immense pressure could overwhelm anyone. We're not always the one responsible for maintaining balance in our lives. When some people talk about resilience, it may seem like the one to blame for your shortcomings is you, this is not the case. If you’re being bullied, for instance, resilience can help you push through that painful experience. However, it’s something that hardly can, and definitely shouldn’t, be for you to handle on your own. Resilience doesn't necessarily mean turning the other cheek.

There are also cases in which you can’t be expected to stay resilient, like the death of a loved one. Resilience may help you come to terms with such loss, and will help you cope in the long run. What resilience cannot do, though, is prevent you from being affected by a potentially traumatic event, even if it may soften the blow. Resilience looks different depending on what’s happening and what you are like, and things like mourning are only human.

Although it’s a different approach, resilience and stress management share some similarities. With both, actively approaching problems, as well as having a group of people you can rely on, are key.

How to become resilient

None of us are lone islands, capable of functioning truly alone. Studies have shown that having emotional support can help tremendously. It can be anyone you feel close to or look up to, like your friends, family, teachers, or co-workers, acquaintances or peers. There is no shame in seeking support from others – you can’t mend a broken arm by yourself, so why be alone with your mental troubles?

• Some highly stressful events can be beyond our control, and unfortunately, they’re bound to happen. What you can change is how you interpret and respond to those events. To prevent stressful events from affecting you too much, you could try to focus on how the future circumstances might be better, and what you can learn to be better prepared. This way, you can turn a problem into a learning experience, without worrying about the emotional burden it carries. Looking at obstacles as challenges to overcome is also an example of growth mindset.
• There’s no doubt you also have your own goals. Try to stick to the ones that seem realistic. Even if a goal seems hard to achieve, what can help is working towards it every day. The important thing is persistence. When you are met with obstacles along the way, acting on them as much as you can to address and overcome the difficulties will help you raise your resilience.

Stress management tips

Although it’s a different approach, resilience and stress management share some similarities. With both, actively approaching problems, as well as having a group of people you can rely on, are key. However, when it comes to stress, it’s not always easy to narrow its cause down. The first step to overcoming stress is to identify why you feel this way. It may seem obvious, but it’s still good to keep in the back of your mind.

• There are also unhealthy ways of dealing with stress – like alcohol, smoking, other drugs, or self-harming. They ultimately only serve as a distraction, and as coping methods, they do much more harm than good. They may at first seem like something worth giving a try, a promise of quick relief in a time of stress. Not only do all four harm your body, especially in the long run, but each of these methods can spiral into addiction and none of them help to solve the problem.
• Many things can help to address and lower your stress, though. When your body isn’t having its needs fulfilled, that can reflect on your mood. You may have noticed that when you’re sleepy or hungry, you also find yourself to be more irritable (hangry). Try to tend to your bodily needs, including regular exercise. While that won’t address the source of your struggles directly, staying healthy will make you better prepared to face them.

Taking the time to devote to your own needs and wellbeing is also really important. You probably have your fair share of homework and assignments. By making sure that you have enough opportunity to rest and recover, not only will you be less stressed, you might find yourself being more efficient when you are studying!

Even if you know the strategies for becoming resilient or managing stress, things can still get out of hand and become too much to handle for you. If that’s the case, you should try looking into professional help – HSR Psychology is here to help.

None of us are lone islands, capable of functioning truly alone.